What if YOU are “They”?

“I’m sure They make something to fix that.”
“Yes, They should have one to hook it on to.”
“They probably have one so it doesn’t hurt so much.”
“They must have thought about making it easier to use.”
Didn’t They?  Shouldn’t They?  Won’t They?  Hello…They?  Are you out there?   You have a lot of work to do.
Who is this [...]